Two drinks, mammograms, maternity pants and so many laughs!
It happened again. The stars aligned and I am refueled. My girls and I got together for dinner and lots of laughs and tons of loved poured as easily as the sangria last night. No grandstanding no kvetching about the daily grind of work, being a wife or mom. My girls get me. They said just what I so desperately needed to hear. They love the blog and I was overwhelmed by how much they get out of it. They make their husbands read it and perhaps now, their men understand this crazy world of adoptees a little better? I was a little stunned as to how much they love to read my words. Back to reality though as they chided me that while they wholeheartedly support it, where the hell where they in it?! I deserved it. I keep them close almost hidden away unwilling to share the special space they have in my heart that is irreplaceable. Being with them is like a tall glass of ice water. I didn’t realize how parched I was.
We got to unwind and conversation flowed about getting old and having to finally acknowledge we need to going on mammograms and taking care of our aging bodies. We joked about our not so secret proclivity for holding onto our comfy maternity pants still a presence in our wardrobe long after our babies have been born. We got to be nostalgic of the days when we were younger, ambitious and wanting to help the next generation of adoptees. We have all stayed connected in different degrees to those little ones we mentored and worried about. While we are now the “older generation”, to hear about these kids going to college, surviving their adolescence and some now waiting to reach the age to do it for the next generation was amazing. We shared our children’s stories anxious to pour cheers, laughter and pride alongside each of us. We laughed about the bed hopping that is going on in our homes while none of us really want it to stop. And the thing that binds us true…that our adoption story is still a source of wonder to us. Still a hot topic among us is our birth families. While not all of us are connected to family in Korea, to have the freedom to talk, update and complain about how hard it is…so refreshing. It is just another topic of our full conversation without having to share the backstory or deal with stupid questions. There is only empathy and compassion and genuine worry we are doing too much.
No judgment was the theme of the night. No judgment that sometimes we can’t stand the juggling of our multiple identities, families and the general craziness that drives us mad about being who we are. No judgment that we still seek love and comfort. For it is the assurance we get and give that we are perfect with our imperfections except we seriously need to hold more of our liquor. Well I do. So this is for Land L and J…I may have had to take a proper train to go to the place I call home now but you are and always will be my home. Thank you.
I went home listening to Seal…How do I get to where I’ve come from? You go where your heart is held with two hands and a loving knowing smile. Cheers girls!