Dear Dan Savage…

Dear Mr. Savage

I know nothing of your famous columns about sex.  I know you simply as the genius behind the “It Gets Better!” Campaign.  I love it and as a straight, Asian American, international adopted woman, I relate to it.  I even blogged about it here, I hope you get to read it.

It is no secret that you and your husband have adopted a child.  You boldly put it out there (http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/11/fashion/sundaystyles/11LOVE.html?pagewanted=all) about the complicated, challenging, loving, heartwrenching task you have of maintaining an open adoption and thereby creating the possibility of a relationship between DJ and his birthmother some day.  As an adopted person, I am not totally comfortable knowing the ins and outs of all that you went through to maintain this relationship, and wonder what DJ might think about the world knowing so much about his birthmother years before he will be able to synthesize it for himself.  Admittedly, I was one of the many readers who could not stop reading it though.  I hope it helped some other adoptive parents out there.

I live in New York and was one of those people glued to the radio when the announcment came out that gay couples could now marry.  I am happily awaiting the day one of my church members and his partner can proclaim their love in marriage.  I have admired how much this issue has galvanized people of all orientations to come together in support of love.

It got me wondering…will the gay community help the adoptee community gain equality too?  As an adoptive parent, you know first hand that your children get an “amended birth certificate” and in places like New York, will never have access to their original birth certificate.  Does your son have an amended birth certificate stating you and your husband as his parents?  I wonder if you see any humor in that piece of paper?  I wonder if you are enraged at the untruthfulness of that document?

So, my question is simple to you and to the many in the gay community. Will you help us?  Will there be room in your hearts for equality for all, including your children?  Would you, and your very public platform, help adoptees around the United States gain equality and help them access their original birth certificates so they too might know who they were born from just like your son?

Thank you so much for your kind consideration.

Sincerely,

adoptionechoes

2 thoughts on “Dear Dan Savage…

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